Introduction

Over the last 2 years or so I have written some thoughts about the sacrament with the intention of eventually compiling it into a book.  I thought it would be a great way to share something that I find so important, however, these thoughts and ideas have come to me through what I consider divine personal inspiration.  I am not comfortable asking for or making money from them, so to share them, instead of writing a book I posted the ones I have to this blog and if I continue to write them I will continue to post them.

I've currently only got 4 completed sections,  they are as follows:

1. Growing Importance
2. Daily Life
3. His Crucifixion
4. Why A Savior

I have been intending to share this for a while, but as I was thinking about Easter (which is today) I decided it's a great time to bring attention to the Lord Jesus Christ.  I hope if you take the time to read them today they bring your thoughts to him.

Bellow is the original introduction I wrote to the book.

I love the sacrament.  I have grown to reverence it and look forward to it every week.  I have felt it's power and it has literally changed my life.

Before we get to far into my thoughts on the sacrament I hope to communicate a clear expectation for you the reader of this book.  I do not want you to go through the work of precuring a copy of this book, and reading it to be left unsatisfied.

To be completely honest and transparent I am not a professional author nor a professional scholar.  I will not be able to give you a systematic study of the doctrinal foundations of the sacrament.  I will share the things I have learned and that have influenced my perspective, but if you are in search of a complete study on the sacrament, this may not be the book for you.

What I have done is I have spent my life seeking Christ.  In this quest I have seen and felt the power of the sacrament and I have grown to appreciate it's importance.  This is what I will try to share through these pages.

If you still have interest in what this book has to offer I invite you to read and in seeing my perspective I hope you find something that improves your own perspective.

Why A Savior?

 Part of life is learning through imperfect analogy such as learning lessons through stories.  We are constantly making sense of the world by little incomplete or inaccurate comparisons to stories or pictures or depictions.

These stories are great for experiencing a specific perspective for a short duration and finding a moral or lesson that is applicable to our given situation.

One common criticism of religious explanations is this process of imperfect analogy however is part of the process of learning itself.  Christ taught through stories and parables then said "He who hath ears to hear, let him hear." (Mark 4:9)  It gives us the opportunity to find new applications to those analogies we draw from stories.

One of the most common analogies I have heard used to explain Christ's role in my salvation is that of someone who pays off my debt.  The imperfect analogy being that when I sin I incur debt and I, not being able to pay that debt, need the help of a third party, which is Christ.

I think this is a beautiful analogy but I have seen imperfect lessons drawn from it.  For example 'would my actions if perfect be sufficient for my salvation?'  I believe that is an erroneous leap.  Another example 'how could it be justice for one man (Christ) to be punished for the mistakes of another?'

One of the imperfect parts of that analogy is the transactional nature.  It's a price for a good or service.  Christ suffers, we get forgiveness.  I don't that is wrong, but I think the interaction is transformational not transactional.  I like how Isaiah 1:18 says it:

"…though your sins be as scarlet, they shall be as white as snow; though they be red like crimson, they shall be as wool."

I have come to another imperfect analogy but I think it complements the first.  I think of my life actions, my agency being a liquid.  As I was brought into this world I was innocent and without blemish, so that liquid was crystal clear.  As I have grown the choices and mistakes I have made have introduced imperfections into that liquid.  Because that liquid is part of me I can't remove them myself, it's like trying to wipe a counter with a dirty rag, but Christ is the only one who lived perfectly and without mistakes he is the only one who can filter the blemishes I have.

I have grown to see Christ as more of a willing filter who is willing to use of himself to improve me.  The analogy is still imperfect but I think it helps me to complement the understanding of what Christ's sacrifice actually did for me.  One area that I think the analogy is not yet complete is the fact that through Christ's grace and atonement we are improved and elevated, not just cleansed, which is far more obvious when investigating the resurrection.

His Crucifixion

As I partook of the Sacrament today I thought of Christ's sacrifice.  Specifically I thought of the crucifixion.  Often I focus on the pain he experienced in the Garden of Gethsemane, but today my thoughts were taken to the crucifixion.

Earlier today I had my pocket knife out and I was cleaning up skin around my nails.  My oldest daughter (10) was very concerned.

"Dad don't do that" she said emphatically.

"Why?" I replied.

"Because you could slip and stab your finger.  You could even slip and cut it off!"  My daughter was very concerned.

I sat in sacrament meeting with that same pocket knife in my pocket and thought of Christ's hands.  I wondered how much pressure would need to be applied to that pocket knife before it would cut through the palm of my hand and into the tissue.  What about on my wrist, finding it's way through the bones and tendons.

I thought of Christ's hands being placed against that plank used on the cross.  The nail used for him was sharp at the point but not all the way around.  It was fairly blunt in comparison with my pocket knife.

I envisioned the soldiers resting the tip of that nail on Christ's palm then raising a hammer to apply the pressure needed to piece our Saviors skin.  That blunt nail was used because something sharp like a knife would have sliced or ripped through his hand when they tried to hold him to that cross.

But why did they need to hold him to a cross?  If the punishment was death why take your time and make a show of it?

The punishment was not only death, it was to set an example to those living.  It was to show "If you do something we don't like, we can, and will do this to you."

The process of crucifixion to my knowledge was first recorded around 519 BC when King Darius of Persia crucified 3,000 in Babylon for rebellion (https://www.gotquestions.org/crucifixion.html).

Alexander the Great brought the practice of crucifixion back to the Mediterranean where the Romans adopted it (https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/14750495/).  For 500 years they refined it until Constantine I abolished it in the 4th century.

So back to my original question, why did it need to be public.  The crucifixion was a way to demonstrate to the people where the power was.  ’Look what we can do, behave or this will be you’.  It instilled fear in subjects.  It was not typically used on Roman citizens, but slaves, dishonored soldiers, foreigners and Christians.

As I partook of the sacrament I thought of the despair felt today.

As of writing this 18 months ago there was a "global pandemic" where governments have required people to stay in their homes and keep masks on their faces.  Businesses, schools, and all sorts of events have been shut down.  Travel has been restricted.  Media, celebrities, and government organizations have all campaigned to distance us from each other.  "Facts" have been so subjective that all you have to do is find someone saying what you want to believe and you will find it, with sources and everything.

In this state of turmoil the spirits of fear and anger have run rampant.  People have stopped seeing each other as fellow humans but instead see someone who is either on my side or against me.  Some have started to feel helpless and hopeless, as if we are simply a leaf floating down a river being carried by whatever current takes us to an unknown, undecided destination.

Today in sacrament I felt gratitude for the world we live in.  We do not have a government of men willing to crucify us using our pain to bring terror to others.  We are free.  Regardless of the power some would have over us they do not and will not, as long as we live free in our hearts and in our minds.

Christ was not unique in being crucified.  He was not the only one to suffer this torture and perhaps this is why I find myself usually reflecting on the Garden of Gethsemane where his suffering was unique.  Christ, however, was uniquely able to stop the crucifixion at any point, yet he did not.  He chose to endure the worst tortures man could think of against another man.  And in that moment God's spirit was also withdrawn from him and Christ endured it truly alone.

He drank from that bitter cup to pay ransom for our sins.  As a sinless vessel He payed the ultimate price for me.  He laid there while soldiers placed a nail in the middle of his palm.  As they raised that hammer he did not resist.  With each strike of the hammer and each moment he hung there his body was further broken but His resolve never was.

Christ bore my burden so that I may live in the hope of salvation.  The chains of sin are what He broke, because I can not do that on my own.  Christ Sets me free.

Daily Life

Throughout my childhood and into my teens I prepared to go on a mission and be a missionary.  I grew to love the topic of charity.  It became and is still one of the core motivators I have found in my life.  It is a core part of my faith in God and I believe it helps me turn my will to His.  It has given me the sliver of a glimpse of the divine perspective relayed in the words "…the worth of souls is great in the sight of God;" (D&C 18: 10).

I have wondered long about why God and Christ would love me.  I have children and I know how much I love them.  It is hard for me to comprehend love greater than that I have for my children and wife.  If I were to compare the love I feel for my children with the love God feels for me and specifically for his only-begotten Son I suspect the comparison would be that of a candle held up to the sun.  Even with this love God has chose to offer his perfect son as a ransom for me.

Elder Uchtdorf said in his conference talk The Love of God from 2009:

Since "God is love," the closer we approach Him, the more profoundly we experience love.  But because a veil separates this mortality from our heavenly home, we must seek in the Spirit that which is imperceptible to mortal eyes.

Christ's love is defined as charity.  When most people hear the word charity they think of many different things loosely resembling charity.  The charity I am talking about is not from a raffle, banquet or food drive, which are common topics for charity.  I'm not talking about some special organization focused on a sad story with sad music and sad pictures of people or animals or plants very far away.   It is not a celebrity distracting you from the lives you can actually impact leaving you with an echo of importance sounding from your mild inconvenience.  I should not deride this form of charity, but time and time again I have found it leads to shallow help and swollen pride.  The one thing I will say is the closer to home it is, while avoiding pride and not stroking ego, the better for those engaged and the recipients.

The main focus around charity I have was sparked when I read a talk by Marvin J. Ashton titled The Tongue Can Be a Sharp Sword which helped me shape this idea of charity.  It changed my perspective of charity, for instance he states:

Real charity is not something you give away; it is something that you acquire and make a part of yourself. And when the virtue of charity becomes implanted in your heart, you are never the same again.

I grew to love and hunger after this idea of charity and becoming filled with the same love that Christ has.  If "…charity is the pure love of Christ…" (Moroni 7:47), I want to be filled with it.  As my bones hold up my body, I want this charity to hold up the motives of my soul.  I want to love God the way Christ does.  This love for God is a way that I can worship Him.  Not only can I but it is imperative that I do, as Christ articulated in His teaching of the first and second great commands (Matt. 22: 36-40).

At this time when I was starting to develop this deep love for charity I heard the following quote.  I do not remember the author and when searching for it I could not identify it, but I believe I heard it in one of Truman G. Madsen's lectures.

The most sacred thing you will encounter in your day to day life, aside from the sacrament, is your fellow man.

-  Author Unknown

With an eye to charity I focused on how important our fellow men are.  I grew to appreciated that we being God's children have the seeds of his divinity within us.  That brought around a motivation for the worth of souls being so great in God's eyes.  Being singularly focused on charity, I still noted the importance placed on the sacrament.

I have not set out to create an importance tier list of gospel principles and concepts.  I have neither the knowledge nor the authority to undertake such a task.  I do however have a love for God and I try to find joy and love for the things that bring glory to him.  His children are clearly one of those things.  Another act that brings glory to God is partaking worthily and intentionally of the sacrament.  It is a way that we worship both Christ's sacrificing of himself for us and God's sacrifice of His beloved Son for us.

Growing Importance

When you talk to people at church there is a vocabulary that it is expected people just understand.  Knowledge is developed line upon line in every domain and religion is no different.  It eventually becomes easy to use context to understand what others are referring to.  For example someone may say in a lesson "In the garden…" It will likely be easy to determine from context if the subject is the Garden of Eden where Adam and Eve lived before the fall, the Garden of Gethsemane where Christ suffered for our sins and bled from every pore, or some other garden.  Our familiarity with the different religious contexts can make it intimidating for others to be taught without feeling overwhelmed, inadequate or insufficient.

In the software industry, where I work professionally, there is a phenomena that happens after learning something.  It goes as follows:

1. You don't know something
2. You learn what you don't know
3. What you have learned is essential to what you do, and you use it constantly
4. You forget what it is like to not know the thing you learned
5. You expect everyone to know it

Because of this phenomena it's often hard to have someone advanced in a subject teach, those who are new to it.  To compensate we deliberately focus on basics and start from a common ground.  This problem is not unique to software but happens in most domains.  Growing up in a highly religious home I was constantly hearing doctrine, but often times needed to learn the basics.

I remember an experience where our 'home teacher' came over to teach a spiritual lesson.  He taught of Christ and mentioned Gethsemane.  I asked a question which showed my ignorance in the area and he kindly stopped the lesson and talked to me directly.  This may not seem like a big deal but being a middle child in a large family is an easy place to be overlooked and having a grown up pause the group conversation to talk directly to me was a notable experience.  He taught me how before Christ was taken and crucifier He went to Gethsemane.  Their Christ took all of our sins, pains, troubles, and sorrows upon himself.  The burden caused Christ to bleed from every pore and he even prayed saying: 

Father, if thou be willing, remove this cup from me: nevertheless not my will, but thine be done. 

- Luke 22:42

I had known there was a place called Gethsemane and it was important but I didn't understand it was the place where Christ bore our sins and burdens.  Until that individual lesson I hadn't understood that Christ actually bled from every pore.

As I grew I was helped to further develop my understand of what happened when my family was visiting our cousin's.  We attended church together and I got to go to primary with my cousin.  We learned of Christ and Gethsemane and the sacrifice that Christ endured their.  The teacher then shared with us a personal story that helped me better understand what it means to "bleed from every pore."  The man teaching us worked construction and a guy he knew had been in an accident.  The guy's foot was run over by a bulldozer and it happened in a way that didn't break any bones.  What it did do was put pressure on his foot, a lot of pressure.  He didn't have any cut but his blood was pushed through the pores of his skin.  The pressure from the bulldozer caused that man to blead from the pores of his toes.  I remember him talking about the pain, but the thing that really stood out to me was the pressure that was placed on this man's foot.

Often when I sit during the sacrament I think of the pressure on Christ.  The pressure Christ had was on both his body and spirit.  I sometimes imagine a perfect mold of the body, that pushes pressure everywhere, and I think of the weight of a bulldozer just pushing everywhere at once on Christ's body.  When I am restless I' even squeeze one of my fingers and try and push all the blood to the end of it until it hurts.

I don't know the exact mechanism that Christ's sacrifice took.  The very name Gethsemane literally means "oil press" which again lends to the pressure Christ was under.  I believe the sacrifice he paid was an individual sacrifice, meaning some portion of energy and effort he gave in that garden was specifically for my life.  I wonder if it was his personal love for each of us that drove him to finish that bitter task.  He could have set down the cup at any point.